Some unexpected violence and conflict broke out at the Toronto D20 Conference between stalwart adventurers and a dungeon master (DM) whose actions have been described by attendees as “power-mad” and “utterly unrealistic”.
The D20 Conference is an annual event held between the world’s highest-leveled Dungeons & Dragons characters, and a magnet of media interest in the [...]
Tags:artificial lakes·D&D·D20·Don Ferguson·G20·John Morgan·Luba Goy·orcs·repeated humpings·riots·Roger Abbott·sly allegories·unscathed vaginas
Collected from a series of e-mails sent by Ed, John, and Lee.
Edward Petrenko to me, Lee
Ray Stevens can’t have a desk because Ray Stevens has managed to accidentally burn down every house he’s owned since 1964 because he keeps trying to light a grill in a carpeted rumpus room.
John Semley to Edward, Lee
False. [...]
Tags:America·Come to the USA·Immigration Law·Jimmy Dean·Ray Stevens·Serious Debates·What Ray Stevens Is Doing
Encyclopedia Tyrannica, 3rd Ed.:
Senator Benedict McLincoln feared communist influence so much that he remained incognito, in hiding, and virtually inaccessible for the duration of his single senatorial term, from 1950 to 1952. Believing the majority of American politicians to be under the sway of Soviet hypno-rays, he almost never attended senate hearings or sessions. Believing [...]
Tags:Commies·easy targets·heroes·patriotism·that scene in Patton
To: john@terminallaughter.haha
From: wikipedia@wikipedia.org
Subject: Tsk-Tsk
Hey, John.
Wikipedia here. Listen: I’ve long considered you a valued reader and sometimes-contributor. I can always count on you to read me when you’re at work, at home, and to recycle articles you find entertaining on your Facebook profile. You’re a link-happy user, and I like that. I also admire the valuable [...]
Dear Editors,
I am writing to you re: a recent editorial cartoon published in the Saturday evening edition of The New Berliner. On page 43 [dreiundveirzig], a cartoon attributed to staff illustrator Joe Himmel depicted our most esteemed ruler, emperor, and Deutscher Kaiser und König von Preußen, Prinz Friedrich Wilhelm Viktor Albrecht [hence, Wilhelm II or, [...]
Tags:chaos·COMEDY·fascism·Galactus·Kais Com·Kaiser·Wilhlem II·world earing·WWI
(Center City, Earth) A press release issued by the cabal of word leaders comprising the New World Order revealed today that, beginning with the third Friday of this month, every third Friday will be henceforth be commemorated as Hawaiian Shirt Day, or, Aloha! Day.
The announcement comes months after the United Nations, IMF, Elders of Zion, [...]
Tags:Al Yankovic·Aloha!·Elders of Zion·IMF·Jay-Z·New World Order·Republicans
Tags:Arrested Development·blew myself·blue man group·David Cross·drumming·drums·Jeff Goldblum on Tim and Eric·Jeff Goldmumangroup·Music·Politics·Tim and Eric·Tobias Bluth·Tobias Bluth from Arrested Development·trials·war crimes
Eight women were beaten, tortured and humiliated by villagers after being branded as witches in a small community outside of Kirkview, Ontario. The incident has caused an outrage among the general public, who argue that the alarming episode is evidence
Tags:bubble bubble toil and trouble·Gingerbread House·Halloween·witchcraft·Witches·Witches murdered·Women targeted as witches
August 7, 2008, 1:00PM PST: Held first private session with subject Shriver, M. [wife]. Subject claimed marriage has been strained for some time. Blames poor communication with subject Schwarzenegger, A. [husband]. While subject Shriver, M. conceded that lack of open dialogue in marriage may be a result of husband’s work as action hero, strongest [...]
Tags:Arnold Schwarzeneggar·Maria Shriver·marriage counselling·puns
SPEAKER: Elmer Whatshisname IV
AUTHOR: Elmer Whatshisname IV, Jr.
AFFILIATION: Regressive Conservative Party
DATE: October 12th, 1975
CANDIDATE: (greetings, baby kisses, waves waves waves) Welcome, welcome one and all, thank y’all for showin’ up on this blustery Bluesday!
Tags:big boobs xxx·cats·cats turn into dogs·conservatives·crawdads·Dogs·evolution·humdingers·liberals·Politics·southerners·speeches·yankees