We’ve all been there. You’ve got time to kill before that screening of Zohan or G.I. Joe that nobody’ll go with you to, so you pop over to the local Best Buy to kill some time. Or maybe you’ve got a gift card. Or maybe your girlfriend’s at Club Monaco. No matter what the scenario, [...]
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In a word, no. But now that we have your attention, there’s been quite a large earthquake in Haiti. We’re quite frankly a little offended that you would even take the time to read an article about this ridiculous assertion regarding the latest wham-bam James Cameron epic.
If there is a racist plot, then it would [...]
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QUEBEC CITY, QUEBEC – A local man has spoken of his inner torment after discovering his long-lost father is actually a notorious pirate.
Five years ago Michel St. Pierre, 38, was informed that he had been adopted as an infant. After hearing the news, he became determined to reconnect with his [...]
Tags:Frank & Beanz
Autumn Sonata (1978)
Jasper Wren (***): The last chime in the knell of this ebbing film cycle. With searing close-ups that portray an unprecedented depth, we as viewers are scuba-divers plundering the undiscovered recesses of the ocean floor of emotion. The prediliction for psychological clarity is audacious, impudent, and at times, downright brave. A certified bravo [...]
Dear Mr. Maddock and Mr. Wilson,
I recently received and reviewed your spec script for your proposed film Busy Dad. I must say, I am very impressed with your work. It shows definite potential. I agree with you that in this, the late 1980s, many fathers are overly busy with commitments to their lives as working [...]
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A selection from Rick’s Picks: A Bunch of Flicks that Rick Picked, the staff recommendations of Richard Lalonde, junior part-time clerk of Montrose Video.
The Dark Knight (Dir. Christopher Nolan, 2008): The understated prestige picture of last year which coyly pulls double duty as a cape-and-cowl action romp, this piece made a small splash at the [...]
Tags:Blue Velvet·Breathless·Citizen Kane·Die Hard·everyone's a critic·Querelle·Showgirls·Slumdog Millionaire·staff recommendations·The Dark Knight·Thelma & Louise·video store
JUL 04: Greetings, new roommate. Although I lack the ability to feel basic human emotions, I wish to communicate to you my gratitude and eagerness to be spending the next two months with you. That said, I feel there has been a miscommunication regarding certain aspects of a domestic nature. In the craigslist ad I [...]
Tags:blocked cocks·blocks·chores·cockblocks·cocks·Data·hygiene·my dreams·roommates·singing·Spinerfem·Star Trek
Dear German Stereotype:
I was talking to my friend Heloise last Tuesday – boy, is she a talker – and we got on the subject of good, wholesome movies to get the grandkids for Christmas. I said I heard that there was a “DVD” of E.T. put out a few years ago, and figured it would [...]
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By: John Semley, Accredited Graduate of Hollywood Insider Correspondence Equivalence Programme
HOLLYWOOD, PA-Exciting news from Tinsel Town, insiders! In an exclusive on-chesterfield interview with your humble cub reporter, certified Hollywood superstar director/producer McG, who sources indicate is actually named Joseph McGinty Nichol, claimed that his latest film, Terminator Salvation, offered no particular challenges for the exceptionally [...]
Tags:Christian Bale·James Cameron·Jones Soda·McG·Night at the Museum 2·sentient supercomputers·summer blockbusters·Terminator Salvation
(TORONTO, ON) Though his two-plus decades in filmmaking and dozen feature films have garnered critical acclaim, awards at the illustrious Cannes and Toronto Film Festivals, something called a Dan David Prize for “Creative Rendering of the Past” and brought him one degree of separation from Kevin Bacon (giving him a Bacon Factor of 1), Canadian-Armenian [...]
Tags:Atom Egoyan·Canadian cinema·dining with children·holiday meals·network narratives·nonlinear storytelling·people with a Bacon Factor of 1