I know what it looks like, officer. But that’s just it – what it looks like. Have you ever heard of Korzybski?
You see, Korzybski was a linguist. A real cunning linguist, if you know what I mean – woff woff woff, arooo? Actually, what I mean is, he realized that the word “to be” is [...]
Tags:bribery·community college·crazy on the outside·drunk driving·i'm not really here·quantum mechanics·tim allen
Bean There, Done That
The Official Autobeanography
by Mr. Bean
(with Elliot Whitacre)
[unreleased]
—
Chapter 5: What Price Fame?
[The door opens, and Bean enters my living room for our third session, which should hopefully cover his time at the top.]
Hellooooo.
[Bean approaches my modernist chair casually, but finds it to be somewhat lower to the ground than anticipated.]
Ooooodearrrrrr.
Tags:autobiographies·celebrity·methamphetamine·Mr. Bean·permanent good ones·Rowan Atkinson
What’s that? Yes, I was just in the lavatory. Why?
What are you laughing about? What is so funny, I ask you?
Oh, please. Must we be so juvenile?
Tags:arts·Balzac·diarrhea·diarrhea causes·diarrhea cure·higher learning·humanities·poop poops·pretention·pure natural organic beeswax·university
Recently, while perusing the wares at R.L.Stine’s estate sale and non-perishable food drive, one of Terminal Laughter’s interns came across a spiral-bound folio of grave interest. It contained literally dozens of proposed titles and capsule synopses for never-released titles in the Goosebumps series of children’s novellas.
Now, in a Terminal Laughter Hallo-scream Edition Exclusive, we have [...]
Tags:caviar·curses·fantasy basketball·free legal music downloads·Goosebumps·Halloween·how to get a date with a woman·NHL hockey·porn·public speaking tips·R.L. Stine·Spooky·sports·Stock Tips·Titanic·Titanic Pictures
Got a hankering for history up-close? Well, you’ve come to the right place. TL has unearthed a ream of real journals written by real people at the forefront of major historical events. For your edification, Terminal Laughter presents… Historical Journals!
Up first: Hat-maker Jasper Wren’s diary from the fateful maiden voyage of that great ship, the [...]
Tags:drowning·haberdashery·hats·James Cameron·Kate Winslet·Leonardo Dicaprio·Titanic
“I’m a total dork,” Christian Glazner overeagerly blurts out as we sit down for roast chicken red pepper sandwiches and chocolate milk in the school cafetorium. That much was apparent. With his purple vintage Mario T, mom-meets-dad style fop top, and tie-my-shoe era Chuck Taylors, Glazner is not the type to be picked first in [...]
Tags:Gilmore Girls·hipster children·Juno·mixtapes·vintage t-shirts·witty banter
selection prepared by Max Hartshorn
Every once and a while Terminal Laughter likes to take a break from its constant stream of silliness and hahas to showcase the work of some emerging animal authors from our creatures publishing division: Animalia Extant. This week it is our honor to present our readers with an excerpt from promising [...]
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Document recovered by John Semley
By: Jay Evans
For: Prof. Anthony Ricciardi
ENVR 400 final paper Proposal
April 25, 2008
Green-living Friends of The Woods:
On Simple Living and Bigfoot as Ecomessiah
For my final paper for ENVR 400: Seminar in Environmental Thought, I would like to address a topic which, while maybe outside of the scope of “proper” “academic [...]
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Compiled by Edward Petrenko
Several months ago, I had the honour of being among a party with the express legal right – nay, the privilege – to unearth, exhume, and play rugby with the skull of Ernest Hemingway. It was a balmy night that threatened to give way into rain at all turns, but over [...]
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by Max Hartshorn
Hey Mrs. S! Thanks for a wonderful semester! I’ll always remember you even when I’m breaking records at State. You taught me to point my index finger at society, and not my middle finger at jerks. Maybe our paths will criss-cross again someday. Maybe then the world will finally be run by that [...]
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