Collected from a series of e-mails sent by Ed, John, and Lee.
Edward Petrenko to me, Lee
Ray Stevens can’t have a desk because Ray Stevens has managed to accidentally burn down every house he’s owned since 1964 because he keeps trying to light a grill in a carpeted rumpus room.
John Semley to Edward, Lee
False. [...]
Tags:America·Come to the USA·Immigration Law·Jimmy Dean·Ray Stevens·Serious Debates·What Ray Stevens Is Doing
QUEBEC CITY, QUEBEC – A local man has spoken of his inner torment after discovering his long-lost father is actually a notorious pirate.
Five years ago Michel St. Pierre, 38, was informed that he had been adopted as an infant. After hearing the news, he became determined to reconnect with his [...]
Tags:Frank & Beanz
There’s been a lot of hullabaloo about celebrities’ increasingly detailed and absurd riders. These documents, detailing lavish and specific requests for backstage or green room goodies, are read with glee by millions hoping to catch a glimpse at the crazy lifestyle these celebs lead. But are they really newsworthy? Is a Nose newsworthy?Humans have had [...]
Tags:celebrities·Frank & Beanz·gandhi·greed·henry viii·Juicy Celebrity Gossip·lavish·riders·shakespeare
… They get ketchup all over their new outfit!
Madam Eta Carinae thought she’d have a quick lunch break before heading back to work. Looks like she got a little mooney for her homonocleus nebula snack and it exploded all over her! Uh oh… Here’s hoping she’s like us and packs a stick-on stain remover. In [...]
Tags:Astronomy·Frank & Beanz·Jokes about Celebrities·Jokes about jokes·Jokes about Magazines·Jokes about Nebulas·Jokes about orion·Jokes about Stars·Jokes about Stars they're just like us·Jokes about the universe·Jokes baout i want to kill myself·Juicy Celebrity Gossip
By FABIO LANZONI, MARGARINE SPOKESMUFFIN
…and so, as the horses galloped towards the cliff, blinded by the Caspian sunset, I leapt off of the carriage, reins in hand, and… and…
I’m sorry, why are you yawning? Have you a sleeping illness? Myself, I was stricken not once, but twice during jungle shoots for my orangu-friendly line of…
Again! [...]
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I don’t want to wake you from slumber, sweetie, so let me simply whisper all manner of nice in the direction of your pale, awesome face. Chamomile Rosary McDinah, I’ve gotta tell you, this has been, without a doubt, the best relationship I’ve ever been in. I know this must sound trite, and that I’ve [...]
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By EDWARD X. FAKENAMEInsignificant Press Writer
MONTREAL, Canada (IP) – Noted CTV News journalist and coke fiend Mutsumi Takahashi was brutally slain last night in what appears to be the latest attack by a killer dubbed by the media as the “Mass Media Murderer”, or “That Splendid Guy”. In a week that has also seen Connie [...]
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